So much context is given about the plight of parenthood, but I never really see or hear about a particular aspect of it that I could use some help with. And that is helping your child deal with heartbreak.
I realize that late teens / early 20s “relationships” can be some wild shit to navigate through. Even the things that are consistent with heartbreak are looked at and handled differently. I know that is directly related to how the dynamics change with the generation. The things that I was Boyz II Men-ing through when I should have been Ice Cube-ing, have reappeared as things my son should be Larry June-ing through, but is heavily Cleo Sol-ing.
The thing I hate about parenting is that I will never be able to protect his heart. I have to stand by and support him through the pain, while being careful not to imprint my problematic anecdotes on him. Lord knows I have a doctorate in dealing with heartbreak. Hence I’m guarded, stubborn, and practice cutting people off as a religion, albeit knowing that I should not direct him to emulate my sensitivity in that manner. He has to find his own way. Watching him hurt while he does that is tearing me up inside.
I try to stay present, open and honest, empathetic but careful to give him space. I make sure that he has a safe space to emote, vent, question or anything else he needs to get an understanding of why this is happening. I just keep telling him that this is one of many lessons that provide an opportunity to learn and grow. The only failure comes in not identifying the lesson being taught.
This is new for me, hell my parents never were present for anything like that, so I have no blueprint to follow. At the same time, I’m creating a blueprint for him to follow with his future children. So this time is very important to me and I just want to get it right. I look forward to him getting on the other side of this. That first real heartbreak is often the worst, then after that you learn how to manage taking these blows. But witnessing his feels like feeling mine all over again.
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